January 15, 2009
One of my many New Years Resolutions, aside from blogging more, is to find a boyfriend/date more/whatever. I figure, new city, new outlook on life. Concurrently, one of my mother’s resolutions is to find me a man. The signs were all there. As I quietly settled into my new life in the city that is not quite New York, my mother had been vocally scheming and laying the foundation for Operation Boyfriend 2009. I began receiving a slew of various e-mails from gentlemen suitors: sons and nephews of family friends, the “good on paper” types.
My first option was Mr. West Coast, a 28 year old entrepreneur type who is the nephew of a family friend:
- Attended ‘first tier’ state school: -1
I didn’t realize that state schools were ranked but apparently they are.
- Job at top consulting firm: +.5
It’s not banking and you know how bankers feel about consultants (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROlDmux7Tk4)
- Job in London at a e-commerce startup: +1
Working abroad, in general, is cool. He’s well traveled and at least has some cultivated tastes. This would have been a +2 but the whole startup thing throws me off. If this were 1999, it’d be more promising.
- Stanford Business School: +5
Getting into Stanford B-School is no easy feat. As long as he doesn’t become a hippie interested in saving the world, we’re okay.
- Constructs well-thought out e-mails: +2
“Grammar is wanting” in this blog but I don’t think it’s incomprehensible. Mr. West Coast sends well-thought out e-mails which do not incorporate the loathesome internet-speak (‘r u arnd?’). He sends periodic updates which I appreciate.
The second option I have is Mr. Google. As characterized by his name, option 2 is a self-proclaimed computer geek who is at Google.
- Graduate of MIT: +3
MIT grads are generally weirdos but it’s still a good university. And I liked “21″.
- Works at Google: +2
Google is very 2004/2005. The stock price is trading in the 300s, down from about 600 last year. They’re taking a big hit and yet, the stock is still not affordable. I am also suspect of the cultish nature of Google. I’m not sure of a workplace that’s designed so you never leave (see: Google-plex in CA). Sort of creepy.
- Poorly constructed e-mails: -4
I get anxious when I receive e-mails punctuated with a lot of “?!?!” and “…!” I also detest when older men litter their letters with emoticons. It’s unnatural.
Suffice to say, I stopped responding to e-mails.
As part of my mother’s quest to find me a boy toy, she decided to stuff my stockings at Christmas with various etiquette and ‘guide’ books. I’m not even talking about the classic handbook which every girl should read (Emily Post). This series is the type you find at the checkout in Barnes & Nobles. Titles such as “How to Behave: A Guide to Modern Manners for the Socially Challenged”, “How to Behave: Dating and Sex for the Romantically Challenged” and “The Long-Distance Relationship Guide for the Geographically Challenged” (all by Caroline Tiger). While manners are generally lacking in today’s society, I’m not sure I want to take advice from an author who has also published “UFO Hunters: guide to the paranormal” and the “Wizard’s Handbook”.
Mother, I get the point. I’m challenged in all social areas of life. Thus, I will continue with the winter hibernation and maintain my romantic trysts online with the aforementioned cyber boyfriends. Unless someone signs me up for match.com or the-like. Or Daniel Craig comes knocking.