New Year, New Post, New Blog

I’m about 3 years behind where I want to be in terms of this blog and my adventures in the finance world. Since then, it’s come to my attention that there are, in fact, other girls in finance who have a penchant for writing as well. Luckily for me, they’re not nearly as entertaining.

A few updates:
1) Yes, I’m still employed. In Finance. Private equity, to be exact. We’re getting to that part of the story and I’m working on a new post now. I will probably skip forward a bit so at least the blog will match where I am in life right now.

2) I have not updated simply because I have been work busy since circa September 2009. True story: I remember the day it happened. The day in which my life took a turn to busy town.

3) Private equity and hedge fund bonuses have not fallen off a cliff. They are alive and well. Investment banking bonuses, on the other hand…

4) I have agreed to do some guest blogging over at Wall Street Oasis. In an effort not to duplicate posts, I am going to try to link up that blog with this one. I have not decided on the content for WSO yet. I have a great time writing my story and would love to get a larger audience. However, seeing as how I am delinquent with blogging, that may not be the greatest idea.

Thoughts, suggestions, comments are welcome. What would you guys like to hear about?

Obama Creepy

It’s no surprise that I had/have misgivings about Obama. I’m not sure how much this photo affects that notion (better / worse?).

This blog is getting further and further away from it’s initial intent. I’m working on a new Analyst Tale post. Should be up soon.

The Battle Rages On

The topic has been beaten to death (on my blog as well) but the writers/”journalists” bring it up again and again. Enjoy Fashion Financier’s comments as she attempts to battle the weak-minded Main Streeters in the open forum that is New York Magazine. I’ll bet that 75% of the people who comment aren’t even from Manhattan.

I was extremely irked last night. After finishing a weekend of playing golf and fueling my gambling habit at the poor man’s Vegas in New England, I settled down to enjoy my Sunday evening with a solid four hours of USA network television. I assume this is a common thing in the world of producing a television series, but I didn’t realize producers and writers would so blatantly rip off another series’ plotline.

Case in point: The premiere of Law and Order: CI. At first, the story started with some overt homage to its sister show, Law and Order: SVU. Drugs, sexual abuse, wealthy and well-connected political family. all the ingredients to a twisted yet entertaining SVU episode. However, as the plot unfoiled and the twist was revealed, I was appalled. The plotline ends with the step daughter of a NYC councilman being sexually abused by her step father (and inevitably becomes a drug addict and suicidal), having a daughter who is raised as her ‘sister’ and the rest of the family ignores this sick little fact and does little to prevent it from happening again.

CSI pretty much used this plot in an episode called “Blood Drops” which aired in 2000. You can read the synopsis here.

There should be a new post in the analyst tale this week. Happy Reading!

New York Magazine

I’ll be the first to admit that I read nymag.com religiously. They have interesting stories, a great fashion section and capture the New York essence that I miss so much. That being said, I was also under the impression that the commenters were also a bit more caustic and snarky. Clearly, I was mistaken.

The Fashion Financier has been the victim of the angry online commenters at nymag.com. Enjoy!

P.S. It still irks me that nymag.com has been cribbing stories from Dealbreaker. wtf, mate?

Don’t touch that dial!

Loyal fans and followers and randos who’ve stumbled onto my site by mistake, I will try and have another post up for you guys this weekend. Unfortunately, in addition to blogging and husband hunting, the Fashion Financier has a real job that involves number crunching, plagiarizing investment memos, traveling to glamorous destinations such as Tulsa, OK and yelling at the help (read: bankers and lawyers).

Stay tuned for thoughts on T-Geith/AIG/bonuses and more on my wacky analyst life. Maybe I’ll throw in another review of the new Real Housewives NYC just for the hell of it.

Food for Thought

I promise you guys some more substantial posts on my analyst stint, the Stimulus bill, etc. But, did it occur to anyone that a gallon of milk costs more than a share of Bank of America ($3.22) or Citi ($1.98)?

If you were doubting nationalization, now’s the time to stop.

“Real” Housewives of NYC

One of my many guilty pleasures is without a doubt, trashy reality television. The crown jewel thusfar of this genre is the “Real Housewives of NYC”. Info about it can be found on bravotv.com. The premiere episode last night gave yet another reason as to why people hate New York and why the IQ level of the average American is slightly above that of a groundhog’s.

This tragic tale begins with a New York Post article written by the infamous Cindy Adams, a Manhattan fixture on the gossip scene. Jill Zarin (the jewy Long Island-ish housewife with the daughter she tried to ship off to fat camp) retaliates to possibly gay Simon’s interview in New York Magazine.

Highlights of this first scene include:

- Bethenny’s facial expressions, phrases like “diarrhea of the mouth” and faux ghetto-speak of “Oh no she d-’in’t!”
- Social climbing Alex McCord running to a very sad/ghetto bodega which can only be found next to their house of squalor in Brooklyn
- Ramona sharing this public social feud with Avery (her daughter who is more intelligent in her pinky finger than the rest of the collective cast). She apparently had no one else
- Awkward exchanges between Alex and Jill like, “[You said that]…because you were jealous” “What!” “Uh..because you were upset we got the coverage…”

Segment 2: Fade in with sun over beautiful city skyline then ruined by the decrepit facade of Casa de van Kempen.

- Alex and Simon train their son, Francois, to become a mini-Simon. Who asks their 2 year old SON to pick out shoes for mommy? “We’re always up for great shopping”. I’m pretty sure their couch is from Bob’s Discount Furniture store or Jennifer Convertibles. Vom. Why do their kids look like they live in one of those nuclear bomb shelters circa early 1960s?
- The van Kempen rental isn’t really all that nice either. “Provence farmhouse with a pool reminiscent of Ancient Babylonia” is stretching it. I’m starting to think it might be a taste thing. Apparently, Simon and Alex’s taste reflect their personalities: low-class and budget.
- Ah, the Countess. She has come back from Switzerland with what looks to be a layer of skin missing from her face. I’m hoping it’s just a bad chemical peel which will grow back but it also may be the whole ensemble with the slicked back hair. She can’t be aging that poorly after a year, could she?

Scene 3: Ext. Socialite Magazine party
- “I don’t do these parties, guys” JZ in the hizzouse!
- “This party is so pedestrian.” Oh! There’s Alex! And Simon.
- Bethenny nails it on the head and looks fabulous and low key. If there’s a party in the Hamptons with the name “Socialite Party”, our favorite social climbers are there!
- Ew. Jill had to touch Simon and there was a graze of that pubic hair facial hair.
- Ramona’s husband, who, in the midst of checking out women walking past on the street, makes a rather poignant observation of “The thing I don’t understand, you know, it’s like, Simon is trying to show he’s a loving husband and he’s you know..not…gay…I don’t get it. There’s a little something going on there.” Ramona jumps to the conclusion that Simon is bi-sexual. Let’s be honest here, people. Bi-sexualism is just a stop over to Gay-ville.
-Bobby Van’s in the Hamptons. Introduction of new housewife, Kelly, who doesn’t drink in the afternoon (?!). Naturally, like the Countess, she’s an ex-model. On the other hand, Kelly was actually a real model. Even more interesting is that she an ex-wife of ‘famed fashion photographer, Gilles Bensimon’ (need to say it in the Tyra Banks voice). Her first test comes in the form of deciding between a Christian Dior party and Jill’s lackluster charity event. She’s probably thinking “WTF D-list sichy did I get myself into?!” I find it odd that Kelly does the shifty-eye thing every time she does a one-on-one with the camera.

Scene 4:
- Biography of Kelly. Kids with really weird names and of course, they’re fatties. Why do the skinny models always pop out the cellulite-gifted kids? I suspect Kelly and Jill will become good friends and bond over sending their kids to fat camp. Like many of the other housewives, Kelly has some serious aging issues. Who is this creepy assistant of hers with the buggy eyes? That was freaky..I was pretty startled when she flashed across my widescreen. Yes, we get it: Kelly likes men. All kinds of men. If you have a penis, you too, can be her friend!
- Bethenny is extremely perceptive. I guess it’s not too difficult when you deal with idiots but according to Bethy, Kelly is “fabulocity”. I heart B. Frankel.
- Reunion at JZ’s “Hell for Orphans” event. Kelly’s all “What the f is this? I’m better than all of you.” Ramona’s first comment to her was “I love your cross.” I guess we know what side of the religious coin she’s on.
- Ramona is the queen of non-sequitors. Clearly, the producers asked her to speak about Kelly and she somehow manages to slip into her schpiel that Simon and Alex have bad energy.
- Everyone is kind of like “who the f invited the social climbers?”

And scene.

Politically Correct

A recent cartoon mocking the newly passed stimulus bill has stirred up the black community.

I’ll give you my comments on the stimulus later, but here’s food for thought. “Speaking at a conference of the New York Academy of Medicine on Wednesday morning, Mr. Paterson said that while he had not seen the cartoon, he believed that The Post should explain it. “

As Gov. Paterson is legally blind, this may be a poor choice of words, perhaps? Unless he’s been playing us all this time like Kevin Spacey in the “Usual Suspects”. Shady.

Facebook Stalking Etiquette

I promised one of my avid readers that I would update the “adventures in banking” portion of this blog soon. Watch out for the next installment. I promise that it will be scintillating.

This post, however, is dedicated to a rant against the creepers on Facebook. Having attended the Ivy, we were one of the first schools allowed onto the Facebook system. I remember clicking away my freshman year and no one having any clue as to how big of a social networking tool this would become (and how rich Mark Zuckerberger would be). Before the days of other colleges, high schools, old people, and all the other bells and whistles we see today, there used to be 1) a Profile picture, 2) a Profile (limited to the normal line items…not even Favorite Books, Movies, etc), and 3) A Wall. The next foray into the “expose yourself to everyone” world included the ability to add facebook photo albums. Since the dawn of the primitive Facebook, much has changed. As such, stalkers, convicts and old friends alike can find you with ease which is, of course, quite disconcerting.

There is certain facebook stalking etiquette that one must follow especially if you do not want to be labeled a psycho.

1) Never admit to acquaintances that you facebook stalked them. It’s fine amongst close friends to gossip about changed statuses (“She’s engaged?!”) and new pictures (“He’s like 40 pounds heavier!”). It’s never okay to tell the person you’re speaking to that you remember xyz detail from his/her facebook. This is especially true if you do not speak to the said-person on a regular basis.

I remember running into a girl I knew in high school once. We were in the City waiting on the same platform for the 4, 5, 6 train. It was the summer right after college and we both had started new jobs. The conversation basically went like this:

Fashion Financier: Wow, I haven’t seen you in forever. You look great.
High School Friend/FB Stalker: You do too. What are you doing in the City?
Fashion Financier: Oh, investment banking. You?
HS Friend/FB Stalker: Oh, I’m in the PR department for Michael Kors.
Fashion Financier; Very cool! I went to Fashion Week last season. I really liked the collection.
HS Friend/FB Stalker: Oh, i know. I saw your facebook photos.

If you haven’t seen someone in a few years, don’t sneak into the conversation that you’ve been keeping tabs on him/her through facebook.

2) “Just because you see me on facebook, doesn’t mean you know me!” I think there’s a group with this title and naturally, it’s true. Just because I was too stupid to block you from seeing my profile, it doesn’t mean we’re friends since we both share the same interests. There are enough people who become scarily addicted to reading the updates for profiles of people they don’t really know. Usually, this results in some deluded fascination and/or misconception that you are in fact friends with stalkee.

3) Don’t randomly message people because you think you saw them somewhere. I recently received this special note in my inbox:

Random Guy Stalker/Potential Killer sent you a message.

Subject: hey

“hey i know this is random but i was searching thru fb and then i came across your picture and u looked very familiar, did u eat at x restaurant on saturday? haha”

You weren’t “randomly searching thru fb”. You apparently saw my Amex Platinum, took down my name and looked me up. Why have I deduced this? Because in addition to being an undergrad at 4th Tier University, you’re also a server at X Restaurant. So now, in addition to creeping the shit out of me, you have deterred me from eating at that restaurant ever again. Fucker.

Lesson of this post? Facebook stalking is okay. But never, under any circumstances, admit this hobby UNLESS you’re with close friends who understand and indulge as well.

New Years Resolutions

One of my many New Years Resolutions, aside from blogging more, is to find a boyfriend/date more/whatever. I figure, new city, new outlook on life. Concurrently, one of my mother’s resolutions is to find me a man. The signs were all there. As I quietly settled into my new life in the city that is not quite New York, my mother had been vocally scheming and laying the foundation for Operation Boyfriend 2009. I began receiving a slew of various e-mails from gentlemen suitors: sons and nephews of family friends, the “good on paper” types.

My first option was Mr. West Coast, a 28 year old entrepreneur type who is the nephew of a family friend:
- Attended ‘first tier’ state school: -1
I didn’t realize that state schools were ranked but apparently they are.
- Job at top consulting firm: +.5
It’s not banking and you know how bankers feel about consultants (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROlDmux7Tk4)
- Job in London at a e-commerce startup: +1
Working abroad, in general, is cool. He’s well traveled and at least has some cultivated tastes. This would have been a +2 but the whole startup thing throws me off. If this were 1999, it’d be more promising.
- Stanford Business School: +5
Getting into Stanford B-School is no easy feat. As long as he doesn’t become a hippie interested in saving the world, we’re okay.
- Constructs well-thought out e-mails: +2
“Grammar is wanting” in this blog but I don’t think it’s incomprehensible. Mr. West Coast sends well-thought out e-mails which do not incorporate the loathesome internet-speak (‘r u arnd?’). He sends periodic updates which I appreciate.

Total: 7.5

The second option I have is Mr. Google. As characterized by his name, option 2 is a self-proclaimed computer geek who is at Google.

- Graduate of MIT: +3
MIT grads are generally weirdos but it’s still a good university. And I liked “21″.
- Works at Google: +2
Google is very 2004/2005. The stock price is trading in the 300s, down from about 600 last year. They’re taking a big hit and yet, the stock is still not affordable. I am also suspect of the cultish nature of Google. I’m not sure of a workplace that’s designed so you never leave (see: Google-plex in CA). Sort of creepy.
- Poorly constructed e-mails: -4
I get anxious when I receive e-mails punctuated with a lot of “?!?!” and “…!” I also detest when older men litter their letters with emoticons. It’s unnatural.

Total: 1.0

Suffice to say, I stopped responding to e-mails.

Conclusion:
As part of my mother’s quest to find me a boy toy, she decided to stuff my stockings at Christmas with various etiquette and ‘guide’ books. I’m not even talking about the classic handbook which every girl should read (Emily Post). This series is the type you find at the checkout in Barnes & Nobles. Titles such as “How to Behave: A Guide to Modern Manners for the Socially Challenged”, “How to Behave: Dating and Sex for the Romantically Challenged” and “The Long-Distance Relationship Guide for the Geographically Challenged” (all by Caroline Tiger). While manners are generally lacking in today’s society, I’m not sure I want to take advice from an author who has also published “UFO Hunters: guide to the paranormal” and the “Wizard’s Handbook”.

Mother, I get the point. I’m challenged in all social areas of life. Thus, I will continue with the winter hibernation and maintain my romantic trysts online with the aforementioned cyber boyfriends. Unless someone signs me up for match.com or the-like. Or Daniel Craig comes knocking.